Sunday, March 4, 2012

Day 1: I cannot believe I let myself go to this extent

EDIT: Please read my Nearly 3 Years Later: 3 Broken Bones & 200+ Pounds - The Long-Term Effects of Juice Fasting update before considering juice fasting.  I hope that my experience will provide you with real-world information about long-term juicing.

Weight: 167.5lb
BMI: 37.5%
Metabolic age: 50
Waist: 33"
Belly: 42"
Hips: 44.5"
Chest: 43"
R Thigh: 26"
L Thigh: 25.5"
R Upper Arm: 13"
L Upper Arm: 12.5"

I just weighed myself this morning for the first time in almost a year.  167.5 pounds!!!  How could that have happened???  And then I start getting angry - angry at myself and angry at my significant other.  He is also overweight.  I have begged and begged for him to not bring certain foods into the house, and yet he continues to do so.

Why is that when someone puts alcohol in front of a former alcoholic, the person is chastised and looked down upon as being an evil tempter?  And yet, when someone puts rich foods in front of someone who is a former fatty, the former fatty is looked down upon for having "no self control"???

When I finished my first juice fast, I had lost 20 pounds.  I began eating well and lost another 50 pounds.  As soon as I started dating my significant other, I started gaining and gaining and gaining.  I begged and begged him to not bring cheese into the house, wine, etc.  I have a weakness for it. He would always pull the "Oh just one time won't hurt you," over and over again until it became all of the time. I cannot live like this.

Last Week
Last week I spent a week in Savannah for a business meeting.   Since I was going to start juicing today, Savannah ended up becoming my Mardi Gras.  I drank a lot, ate a lot, etc.

It was amazingly horrifying.  I try to eat whole foods and control what I eat.  In fact, I rarely eat in restaurants.  By the end of the week, my ankles were so swollen that they looked like I was wearing a fat suit.  My legs were throbbing and I was going through boughts of mood swings.  The mood swings were induced by the alcohol, which has been a known issue for me. 

I am terrified that once I am done with this fast that I am just going to go right back to where I started without the support or team work of my significant other.  And that's just depressing.

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